Rating: Overall: NC-17.
Disclaimers: Not true. . .blah, blah, blah. Tolkien's characters are his own, I just get them dirty.
Summary: Fuck all, really.
Archive: Gay Shagging Cats.
A/N: Blatant Mary Sue. Horribly written. The only reasons the het seks isn't disgusting are: 1) I'm the OFC. 2) It's humour.
A/N 2: You know, I’m not really this pervy in real life. Oh, who am I kidding? This is a Mary Sue, which means it’s an exact representation of what I really am. Perfectly sexy and gorgeous. Yeah.
Parts 1 and 2.
Parts 3 and 4.
Parts 5 and 6.
And the adventure continues. There’s an expected-unexpected twist in this chapter. Mary Sue Hetfic, remember? Bless.
Part Eight: Turning the Tables.
When Sonja woke up the next morning, Aragorn was not in the room, but Legolas was. In point of fact, said Elf was curled up next to Sonja, looking happy.
Fuck if he isn’t cute when he’s asleep.
Sonja got up and went to have a bath. She was still a bit sticky from the previous night’s activities. When she had finished and walked out of the bath chamber, Legolas was sitting up in bed with the sheets loosely gathered in his lap. His golden hair cascaded beautifully over his shoulders, and he had an adorably stupid grin plastered across his pale Elven face.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning, Prince Legolas.” Sonja vaguely wondered if Elves got morning breath, because she really wanted to kiss him. “Sleep well?”
“Yes, Milady. Now get back into bed so I can take care of you properly.”
“But I just had a bath,” she protested weakly, suddenly overcome by the desire to submit.
“Then you shall have to have another. If you think I’m going to let you get away with last night, you’ve got another think coming.”
Oh, my. This could be fun.
“Perhaps,” Legolas continued, “I could tie you to the bed, shove my cock in your arse, and deny you your satisfaction until I see fit to let you have it.”
“You could do that.” Who was Sonja to argue with a Prince of Mirkwood?
“Yes, I could, but I’d rather make love to you, sweet and slow.” Legolas smiled, and Sonja thought she was going to melt into a puddle. “Wouldn’t you like that, Milady?”
Before Sonja could answer, there was a knock at the door.
To be continued. . .here.
Needed a chapter where nothing happened. Sorry. No, no, I’m not. Tossers.